A few years ago, while in Atlanta for a conference, some friends and I decided to visit one of the cities favorite nightspots for some true Southern blues and jazz music, "Blind Willies."
There was a small yellow-lit stage where the musicians jammed, enjoying themselves and delighting the crowd of listeners. Around eleven, I knew the musical meaning of the word "cooking."
Then suddenly the chatter died down and everyone looked toward the doorway. I saw two young men slowly escorting a very old lady in a wheelchair through the crowd and onto the stage. They handed her a microphone.
Then, in a beautiful Southern drawl, she said, "My name is Ma Beecher. I'm seventy-eight years old, and I ain't had nearly enough of nothin' yet!"
That brought the house down. She sang blues songs that night in a clear voice and joked with her admirers, and glowed with a happiness and love of life.
Later, in my room, I thought about her remark that she had not had enough. It was clear that she was talking about the joyful things in life - music, love and laughter.
I thought about what that word, enough, had meant to me. It had always been a difficult word for me. I often wondered if, in fact, I was enough for the people in my life. Was I a good enough wife, a good enough mother, a good enough person? Was I enough?
I had worried about this a lot, and spent years trying to soften my insecurities with artificial comforts...with treats and goodies. But they weren't enough. Never enough. How many doughnuts would it take to make me happy? It must have been a great many because I never did have enough.
I never found out how much wine either. Or how much money. None of those things were ever enough.
Over the years, my value system changed. I have learned what it really takes to make me happy. I heard Ma Beecher at just the right time. I know what she meant when she said she hadn't "had nearly enough of nothin' yet." She wasn't talking about food, or alcohol or things of any kind. She was talking about hugs and kisses, pats on the back, beautiful music, warm love and friendship.
She was right. There ain't nearly enough of that!
"When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world."
~ Mary Oliver